Found Out

I juz read my friend's blog...
I almost cried...
My eyes was watery...
Her post was about her grandmother...
She was the last to know about it...
I felt so sorry for her...
Not juz becoz she lost her grandma but bcoz she was unable to attend the 'black parade' bcoz she was studying in Taiwan...
She was also the last to know about it...
If it was me...
I would go mad...
I wanted to tell her...
But I did not had the heart to tell her...
It was also up to her family to tell her...
I could not 'campur tangan' into her family news...

I thought about myself too...
I was thinking to study abroad when I leave high school...
But what if something happens??
What if the same thing happened to me??
Could I handle it calmly??
Could I not go mad...
Could I be strong for myself and my family??
Was it possible??
I don't know...
We can never predict the future...
We can never know what will happen in the future...
My dream was to work abroad...
Coz I hated to be near a place where I can never grow up...
A place where I can fide myself...

I don't want it anymore...
I want to grow up...
I need a palce where I can have my own way...
A place that is far enough that I could solve the problems on my own...
A place where I can control my emotion...